1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
