Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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