i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
