If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
