so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
