I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
