Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize