We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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