Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
