the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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