Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
