Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
