I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize