is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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