that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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