Me. At least after what I've been through.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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