Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
