i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
