i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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