Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need a beard to bite.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
