walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
