but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
