It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
