Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
