I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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