I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
