youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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