You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
