Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
