I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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