I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
