Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
