Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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