Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
