Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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