I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
