Screwed.edu
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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