Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
