I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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