I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
