Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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