So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize