the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
