Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
