...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
