Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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