He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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