Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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