nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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