we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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