one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wish my penis had a tongue
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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