READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You are the jesus of drinking
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
