What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
