they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
