It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
