I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's always time for handjobs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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