She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
