Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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