You're so nebulous sometimes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If I die, sorry about rent.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
