There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
