rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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