I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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