I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
